1. |
Stinkaroo
01:54
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What do ya do with the stinkiest roo?
Put him in the bathtub with lotsa shampoo
If he’s still stinky, then whadda ya do?
Take him to the vet for a hullaballoo
A hullabaloo? A hullaballoo.
Take him to the vet for a hullaballoo
What do ya do with the stinkiest roo?
Put him in the yard in a house of bamboo
If he’s still stinky, then whadda ya do?
Leave him for a few days with Mr. Magoo
Mr. Magoo? Mr. Magoo.
Leave him for a few days with Mr. Magoo
And Charlie too…
What do ya do with the stinkiest roo?
Take him to the shop for a kitty tattoo
If he’s still stinky, then whadda ya do?
Tell him ‘bout the Walrus and Goo-goo ga-joob
Goo-goo ga-joob? Goo-goo ga-joob.
Tell him ‘bout the Walrus and Goo-goo ga-joob
And if that don’t do it, then there’s nothin’ else to do!
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2. |
Goody Goody Gumdrops
01:24
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Goody gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops
Goody gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops
Goody gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops
Oh, goo!
Goody-goody gumdrops
Goody-goody gumdrops, goonie-goo!
And on
Goody-goody gumdrops
Goody-goody gumdrops, we will chew!
Biz-arre
Anywhere we are
Oh, what a gummy grime we’ll wend!
Gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops
Untimely dental end
Gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops
Untimely dental end!
Goody gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops
Goody gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops
Goody gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops
Oh, goo!
Goody-goody gumdrops
Goody-goody gumdrops, goonie-goo!
And on
Goody-goody gumdrops
Goody-goody gumdrops, we will chew!
Biz-arre
Anywhere we are
Oh, what a gummy grime we’ll wend!
Gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops
Untimely dental end
Gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops
Untimely dental end!
(poot!)
Oh, goody-goo-goody
Goody-goody gumdrops
Goody-goody gumdrops, goonie-goo!
And goody on goody
Goody-goody gumdrops
Goody-goody gumdrops, we will chew!
Biz-goody-arre-goody
Anywhere we are
Oh, what a gummy grime we’ll wend!
Gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops
Untimely dental end
Gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops
Untimely dental end…
Goody-goody gumdrops
Goody-goody gumdrops
Grime, untimely, goody-goody end!
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3. |
Fuketa
01:00
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Fuk de-dada fuketa
Da-fuketa fuketa fuk
Da fuk de-da
Da fuk de-da
Da fuketa fuketa fuketa fuk
Fuk de-dada fuketa
Da-fuketa fuketa fuk
Da fuk de-da
Da fuk de-da
Da fuketa fuketa fuketa fuk
Fuketa fuketa fukka
Fuketa fuketa fukka
Fuketa fuketa fukka
Fuketa fuketa fuk
Fuketa fuketa fukka
Fuketa fuketa fukka
Fuketa fuketa fukka
Fuketa fuketa fuk
Da fuk, da fuk, da fuk
Da fuketa fuk da fuk
Da fuk, da fuk, da fuk
Da fuketa fuk da fuk
Da fuk, da fuk, da fuk
Da fuketa fuk da fuk
Da fuk, da fuk, da fuk
Da fuketa fuk da fuk
Fuketa fuketa fukka
Fuketa fuketa fukka
Fuketa fuketa fukka
Fuketa fuketa fuk
Fuketa fuketa fukka
Fuketa fuketa fukka
Fuketa fuketa fukka
Fuketa fuketa fuk…oy vey!
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4. |
Kalamata
02:24
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Kalamata…Peloponnesee
Kalamata…Peloponnese
Kalamata…Peloponnesee
Ponnesee…ponnesee…
Ponne-ne-ne-ne, ne ne-ne ne-nese!
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5. |
The Ballad of Gunga Din
04:05
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Gunga Din! Gunga Din!
Gunga Din, Gunga Din, Gunga Din! (x9)
GUNGA DIN!!!
I never really knew you, Gunga Din
I always just liked yelling out your name
I guess you were in a war
And someone wrote a poem about it, so
You’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din!
GUNGA DIN!!!
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6. |
Lament for Olive Oyl
02:41
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Why did she do me so wrong?
They said we were the perfect pair
Me with my overall olive enhancements
And she by her just being there
Why, Olive, why?
Why, Olive, why?
I met her in Peloponnese
At the world famous Olive Bazaar
Our eyes met while sampling cheese
So we spent the day counting our stars
Why, Olive, why?
Why, Olive, why?
All of our love was for olives
She by her birth, I by trade
I gently touched her in the small of her back
Then we frolicked unclothed in the glade
Days became weeks for our burgeoning tryst
But soon things began to feel strange
I kept seeing her talking to some sailor man
That’s when everything started to change
Why, Olive, why?
Why, Olive, why?
Confronting my love on her worrisome acts
She cried, “He’s the love of my life!”
I recoiled in shock from her brutal retort
And said, “I’d hoped you’d be my wife!”
Why, Olive, why?
Why, Olive, why?
It’s many years now since she ruined my heart
So I’ve poured my love into my work
Now I only love olives, but it’s all because Olive
Dumped me for that damn sailor jerk!
Why, Olive, why?
Why, Olive, why?
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7. |
Extroimely Butterfelt
03:02
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[instrumental]
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8. |
Chiclets
00:53
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I asked my Mémère if she had any gum
Chiclets, Chiclets
She said “Go, check my pocketbook, I think I have some!”
Chiclets, Chiclets
I found a box, labeled “Chiclets” on the side
Chiclets, Chiclets
I ate every damn piece, I didn’t even try to hide!
Chiclets, Chiclets...
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9. |
Bananalove
02:44
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My friend Bobby, he loves his bananas
He loves his bananas
He loves his bananas
I try to tell him ‘bout the olives, but he loves his bananas
He loves his bananas
He loves his bananas
It’s just like a great big buncha…
BANANALOVE…BANANALOVE
BANANALOVE…BANANALOVE
With his little buddy Gilla, gets his filla bananas
He loves his bananas
He loves his bananas
And nothing else matters except his bananas
He loves his bananas
He loves his bananas
It’s just like a great big buncha…
BANANALOVE…BANANALOVE
BANANALOVE…BANANALOVE
BANANALOVE…BANANALOVE
BANANALOVE…BANANALOVE
So let me put on my glove…
Maybe a bananenema is in order?
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10. |
Squeaky Wheel
00:27
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Hey squeaky wheel…whaddya say?
(Horrible squeaking noises)
Click.
“Did you just hang up on me?”
No, I just said “Click”.
(Dial tone…)
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11. |
A Fistful of Olives
04:07
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I don’t have to tell you that olives are the way
But I spread the message everywhere and every day
I’ve already shared my favorite olive-based snacks
But there’s so much more to know, once you’ve breached the crack
Colo-mental health is no laughing matter
If your head is up your ass, you’ll be mad as a hatter
My remedy is simple, PULL YOUR HEAD OUT, COUSIN
Grab a fistful of olives, stuff ‘em in where they wasn’t!
A fistful of olives - to clutch in your hand!
A fistful of olives - doesn’t matter what brand!
A fistful of olives - is good for what ails you!
A fistful of olives - never will fail you!
(The following is a testimonial from another satisfied customer…)
Hi…I’m Dom and my buddy is named Sam
He meets me at the door daily fully wrapped in Saran
With a double martini and a fistful of olives
We spent the evening stuffing, using lots of Palmolive
I used to be this cantankerous guy
But once I pulled my head out, I understood why
A fistful of olives, as the Proctor recommended
Now my colo-mental health is fully hundpercent mended!
A fistful of olives - to clutch in your hand!
A fistful of olives - doesn’t matter what brand!
A fistful of olives - is good for what ails you!
A fistful of olives - never will fail you!
So listen to the Proctor and do what I say
Up your olive intake and uptake every day
Colo-mental health is the only way to fly
Grab a bunch of olives, raise your fist to the sky!
A fistful of olives - to clutch in your hand!
A fistful of olives - doesn’t matter what brand!
A fistful of olives - is good for what ails you!
A fistful of olives - never will fail you!
(That’s pretty much it…)
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Proctor Pimento Phoenix, Arizona
Rogue Proctologist / Surrogate Host / Musicker / Arter and fierce advocate for olives as the way to good colo-mental health.
Any similarities in pronunciation & spirit to Dr. Demento are purely intentional.
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