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A Fistful of Olives

by Proctor Pimento

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    ARACHNIDISC - ADCD005

    ©2022 Proctor Pimento
    ℗2022 Arachnidisc

    Includes unlimited streaming of A Fistful of Olives via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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1.
Stinkaroo 01:54
What do ya do with the stinkiest roo? Put him in the bathtub with lotsa shampoo If he’s still stinky, then whadda ya do? Take him to the vet for a hullaballoo A hullabaloo? A hullaballoo. Take him to the vet for a hullaballoo What do ya do with the stinkiest roo? Put him in the yard in a house of bamboo If he’s still stinky, then whadda ya do? Leave him for a few days with Mr. Magoo Mr. Magoo? Mr. Magoo. Leave him for a few days with Mr. Magoo And Charlie too… What do ya do with the stinkiest roo? Take him to the shop for a kitty tattoo If he’s still stinky, then whadda ya do? Tell him ‘bout the Walrus and Goo-goo ga-joob Goo-goo ga-joob? Goo-goo ga-joob. Tell him ‘bout the Walrus and Goo-goo ga-joob And if that don’t do it, then there’s nothin’ else to do!
2.
Goody gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops Goody gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops Goody gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops Oh, goo! Goody-goody gumdrops Goody-goody gumdrops, goonie-goo! And on Goody-goody gumdrops Goody-goody gumdrops, we will chew! Biz-arre Anywhere we are Oh, what a gummy grime we’ll wend! Gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops Untimely dental end Gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops Untimely dental end! Goody gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops Goody gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops Goody gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops Oh, goo! Goody-goody gumdrops Goody-goody gumdrops, goonie-goo! And on Goody-goody gumdrops Goody-goody gumdrops, we will chew! Biz-arre Anywhere we are Oh, what a gummy grime we’ll wend! Gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops Untimely dental end Gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops Untimely dental end! (poot!) Oh, goody-goo-goody Goody-goody gumdrops Goody-goody gumdrops, goonie-goo! And goody on goody Goody-goody gumdrops Goody-goody gumdrops, we will chew! Biz-goody-arre-goody Anywhere we are Oh, what a gummy grime we’ll wend! Gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops Untimely dental end Gumdrops, goody-goody gumdrops Untimely dental end… Goody-goody gumdrops Goody-goody gumdrops Grime, untimely, goody-goody end!
3.
Fuketa 01:00
Fuk de-dada fuketa Da-fuketa fuketa fuk Da fuk de-da Da fuk de-da Da fuketa fuketa fuketa fuk Fuk de-dada fuketa Da-fuketa fuketa fuk Da fuk de-da Da fuk de-da Da fuketa fuketa fuketa fuk Fuketa fuketa fukka Fuketa fuketa fukka Fuketa fuketa fukka Fuketa fuketa fuk Fuketa fuketa fukka Fuketa fuketa fukka Fuketa fuketa fukka Fuketa fuketa fuk Da fuk, da fuk, da fuk Da fuketa fuk da fuk Da fuk, da fuk, da fuk Da fuketa fuk da fuk Da fuk, da fuk, da fuk Da fuketa fuk da fuk Da fuk, da fuk, da fuk Da fuketa fuk da fuk Fuketa fuketa fukka Fuketa fuketa fukka Fuketa fuketa fukka Fuketa fuketa fuk Fuketa fuketa fukka Fuketa fuketa fukka Fuketa fuketa fukka Fuketa fuketa fuk…oy vey!
4.
Kalamata 02:24
Kalamata…Peloponnesee Kalamata…Peloponnese Kalamata…Peloponnesee Ponnesee…ponnesee… Ponne-ne-ne-ne, ne ne-ne ne-nese!
5.
Gunga Din! Gunga Din! Gunga Din, Gunga Din, Gunga Din! (x9) GUNGA DIN!!! I never really knew you, Gunga Din I always just liked yelling out your name I guess you were in a war And someone wrote a poem about it, so You’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din! GUNGA DIN!!!
6.
Why did she do me so wrong? They said we were the perfect pair Me with my overall olive enhancements And she by her just being there Why, Olive, why? Why, Olive, why? I met her in Peloponnese At the world famous Olive Bazaar Our eyes met while sampling cheese So we spent the day counting our stars Why, Olive, why? Why, Olive, why? All of our love was for olives She by her birth, I by trade I gently touched her in the small of her back Then we frolicked unclothed in the glade Days became weeks for our burgeoning tryst But soon things began to feel strange I kept seeing her talking to some sailor man That’s when everything started to change Why, Olive, why? Why, Olive, why? Confronting my love on her worrisome acts She cried, “He’s the love of my life!” I recoiled in shock from her brutal retort And said, “I’d hoped you’d be my wife!” Why, Olive, why? Why, Olive, why? It’s many years now since she ruined my heart So I’ve poured my love into my work Now I only love olives, but it’s all because Olive Dumped me for that damn sailor jerk! Why, Olive, why? Why, Olive, why?
7.
[instrumental]
8.
Chiclets 00:53
I asked my Mémère if she had any gum Chiclets, Chiclets She said “Go, check my pocketbook, I think I have some!” Chiclets, Chiclets I found a box, labeled “Chiclets” on the side Chiclets, Chiclets I ate every damn piece, I didn’t even try to hide! Chiclets, Chiclets...
9.
Bananalove 02:44
My friend Bobby, he loves his bananas He loves his bananas He loves his bananas I try to tell him ‘bout the olives, but he loves his bananas He loves his bananas He loves his bananas It’s just like a great big buncha… BANANALOVE…BANANALOVE BANANALOVE…BANANALOVE With his little buddy Gilla, gets his filla bananas He loves his bananas He loves his bananas And nothing else matters except his bananas He loves his bananas He loves his bananas It’s just like a great big buncha… BANANALOVE…BANANALOVE BANANALOVE…BANANALOVE BANANALOVE…BANANALOVE BANANALOVE…BANANALOVE So let me put on my glove… Maybe a bananenema is in order?
10.
Hey squeaky wheel…whaddya say? (Horrible squeaking noises) Click. “Did you just hang up on me?” No, I just said “Click”. (Dial tone…)
11.
I don’t have to tell you that olives are the way But I spread the message everywhere and every day I’ve already shared my favorite olive-based snacks But there’s so much more to know, once you’ve breached the crack Colo-mental health is no laughing matter If your head is up your ass, you’ll be mad as a hatter My remedy is simple, PULL YOUR HEAD OUT, COUSIN Grab a fistful of olives, stuff ‘em in where they wasn’t! A fistful of olives - to clutch in your hand! A fistful of olives - doesn’t matter what brand! A fistful of olives - is good for what ails you! A fistful of olives - never will fail you! (The following is a testimonial from another satisfied customer…) Hi…I’m Dom and my buddy is named Sam He meets me at the door daily fully wrapped in Saran With a double martini and a fistful of olives We spent the evening stuffing, using lots of Palmolive I used to be this cantankerous guy But once I pulled my head out, I understood why A fistful of olives, as the Proctor recommended Now my colo-mental health is fully hundpercent mended! A fistful of olives - to clutch in your hand! A fistful of olives - doesn’t matter what brand! A fistful of olives - is good for what ails you! A fistful of olives - never will fail you! So listen to the Proctor and do what I say Up your olive intake and uptake every day Colo-mental health is the only way to fly Grab a bunch of olives, raise your fist to the sky! A fistful of olives - to clutch in your hand! A fistful of olives - doesn’t matter what brand! A fistful of olives - is good for what ails you! A fistful of olives - never will fail you! (That’s pretty much it…)

about

STONE GROOVE RECORDS - SGD240B

©2022 Proctor Pimento
℗2022 Stone Groove Records

credits

released April 1, 2022

Proctor Pimento: lead vocals, backing vocals, fricatives, scats, electric & acoustic guitars, bass, drums, clarinet, guiro, frog, didgeridoo, tuba, slide-whistle, castanets, finger cymbals, bicycle horn, percussion, cowbell, cowcall, bongos, gasp, glove, vibratones, nose flute, whistle, kazoo, snake charmer flute, rattle/chiclets, belch

Wippidispikl: backing vocals, piano, organ, bass, upright bass, drums, horns, harmonicas, bagpipes, strings, timpani, kettle drums, accordion, piccolo, bicycle horn, mellotron, hand drum, percussion, cadence calls, bugle, whistles, fricative, belch

Eddie: meows on track 1

Bad Beth: vocals on track 6

Clifford McCurdy: piano on track 7

Percy: meows on track 7

LSM Chimps: vocals on track 9

Dominic Nelson Atrix: vocals on track 11

Howard C. Esley: lead vocals, backing vocals and piano on track 13

•Track 7 is dedicated to James Michaud & Clifford McCurdy
•Track 9 is dedicated to Bobby Liebling & Gilla
•Track 10 is dedicated to T.J. Mansfield and all complainers worldwide

All lyrics by Proctor Pimento
All music by Proctor Pimento & Wippidispikl
(Except track 2 by the Sherman Brothers and track 4 by Piero Umiliani)

All tracks recorded and mixed by Tompire and Randy Michaud at Arachnidisc - Phoenix, AZ
(Except track 13 recorded at the Sully Shack - Defuniak Springs, FL and The Cave - Peoria, AZ)

Mastered by Martin Bowes at The Cage Studios - Coventry, UK

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about

Proctor Pimento Phoenix, Arizona

Rogue Proctologist / Surrogate Host / Musicker / Arter and fierce advocate for olives as the way to good colo-mental health.

Any similarities in pronunciation & spirit to Dr. Demento are purely intentional.

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